From an early age, children show an obvious inclination towards one of their parents, showing a preference which is not fortuitous but has deep roots in their psychological development. This fascinating relationship has been studied for decades and receives a detailed explanation through the theory of sexuality, one of Sigmund Freud's most significant contributions to the field of psychoanalysis.
The theory of sexuality in child development
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, postulated that human development is profoundly influenced by its sexualityHowever, it is essential to understand that, in the Freudian context, "sexuality" encompasses much more than a simple genital attraction and extends to the entire range of affective and emotional interactions that mobilize an individual from childhood.
Freud divided child development into several stages, and one of the most relevant to understanding this dynamic is the phallic phase, which occurs approximately between 3 and 6 years of age. During this stage, children begin to discover their body, explore their genitals and show curiosity about the differences between their own gender and that of others. This discovery becomes a fundamental pillar for development of psychological foundations which explain the well-known Oedipus and Electra complexes.
The Oedipus Complex
The term Oedipus complex It derives from the Greek tragedy “Oedipus Rex” by Sophocles, where Oedipus unwittingly murders his father and marries his mother. Freud used this narrative to conceptualize the deep emotional and affective attachment a child feels toward his mother while perceiving the father as a competitor for his attention and affection.
At this stage, the child develops a unconscious desire to monopolize the relationship with the parent of the opposite sex, in this case, the mother. This desire can manifest itself through possessive behaviors such as preventing parents from showing affection towards each other or expressing obvious jealousy towards the father.
Freud pointed out that over time, this phase should evolve into an identification with the parent of the same sex, which in this case is the father. This identification establishes a pattern of behavior that helps the child resolve the internal conflicts that arise during this stage of development.
The Electra Complex
El Electra complex It was introduced by Carl Jung to describe the female counterpart of the Oedipus complex, although Freud did not fully accept it. In this case, girls develop a strong admiration towards the father, considering the mother as a rival for his attention and love. This complex is also inspired by Greek mythology, in this case, the tragedy of Electra, who seeks to avenge her father's death.
During this period, girls may show a pronounced need to spend more time with their father, express desires to "marry" him, and even feel jealousy towards the mother. However, due to the close emotional relationship that many girls have with their mothers, this phase may go more unnoticed or seem less conflictual.
The appropriate resolution of this stage comes from identification with the mother, where the girl assumes that the father's affection is directed towards the mother and begins to look for a model of love and affection in other male figures.
Understanding the symptoms of the Oedipus and Electra complex
Identifying these complexes is not always easy. However, there are certain common symptoms that can help parents recognize these stages in their children:
- A disproportionate interest in the parent of the opposite sex.
- Displays of jealousy towards the parent of the same gender.
- Verbal wishes to “marry” the parent of the opposite sex.
- Possessive or aggressive behavior towards the parent considered a rival.
During this stage, it is common for children to express phrases such as, “When I grow up, I will marry you, Mom,” or “Dad is mine.” They may also show resistance or rejection to their parents showing affection to each other.
The role of parents: how to deal with these complexes
It is crucial for parents to manage this stage with patience y understanding. Here are some key strategies to support children through this stage:
- Understand that this phase is normal and transitory.
- Avoid ridiculing or punishing the child for his or her behavior or feelings.
- Encourage family activities to reduce excessive fixation on a single parent.
- Show affection in a balanced way between both parents to maintain a healthy family environment.
- Help your child understand family roles and the concept of a couple in an age-appropriate manner.
If problems persist or intensify, do not hesitate to consult a Child psychology professional for more specific guidance.
This stage is an opportunity to strengthen the family bond and offer the child emotional tools which will be valuable for their later development. By creating a safe and supportive environment, children will be able to overcome this stage and build enriching emotional relationships in the future.
It will be true because my daughter, as a child,
always went by my hand.