El 90/10 principle, originated by famous author Stephen Covey, is a powerful psychological tool that can transform our outlook on life and how we deal with everyday adversities. This principle not only has practical applications, but also raises deep reflection on how we react to life events and the impact these reactions have on our well-being. Throughout this article, we will explore in detail what this principle is, how it is applied, and what benefits we can gain by integrating it into our daily lives.
What is the 90/10 principle?
In essence, the 90/10 principle states that the 10% of the things that happen in our lives are beyond our control; are unavoidable events such as traffic problems, accidental falls or changes in the weather. On the other hand, the 90% of what we experience depends on how we react to that 10%That is to say, most of our experiences are the direct result of our attitude and behavior in the face of unavoidable circumstances.
This concept does not seek to minimize problems or ignore adversities, but rather to emphasize that our power lies in our reactionsWhen we become aware of this, we can learn to manage our emotions and not get carried away by impulses that could intensify the initial problems.
Imagines…
To better understand the principle, let's illustrate it with a practical example:
It's a quiet morning at home and you're making breakfast with your family. Suddenly, your child accidentally spills coffee on your pants. You get angry, yell at him/her, and criticize your partner for not being more careful with the cup. In the midst of the chaos, you leave breakfast unfinished, and as you change clothes, the atmosphere at home becomes tense. Your child continues to cry, and your partner, upset, decides not to say goodbye before leaving for work.
As a result of the bad atmosphere, you arrive late to work, forgetting important documents at home and with a tense attitude that affects your performance. At the end of the day, you return exhausted and the discomfort among everyone persists.
What went wrong?
Faced with this situation, many people would attribute the bad day to the initial event: the coffee spill. However, according to the 90/10 principle, the main cause was your impulsive reaction to an incident that, in itself, was not very serious. If you had taken a few seconds to calm down and respond calmly, your day could have continued as normal.
This brings us to the key point of the beginning: We can't control what happens, but we can control our response.Learning to respond calmly and serenely helps us avoid making situations worse and allows us to address difficulties more effectively.
Practical applications of the 90/10 principle
The 90/10 principle is not only applicable to domestic scenarios, but also to various areas of our lives. Let's look at some of the most common situations where we can implement it:
- Heavy traffic: Instead of getting frustrated or angry about a traffic jam, you can use that time to listen to relaxing music or an audiobook.
- Errors at work: If you make a mistake, don't beat yourself up. Learn from the situation and find ways to correct it and avoid it in the future.
- Difficult interactions: If someone has a negative attitude towards you, remember that you can't control their behavior, but you can control how you react to it.
The importance of self-awareness
To apply the 90/10 principle, it is essential to develop emotional self-awarenessThis involves being able to identify our emotions before we react impulsively. By doing so, we can pause to assess the situation and decide how best to respond.
A useful technique to foster self-awareness is to practice full attentionThis practice helps us stay present in the moment, reducing the likelihood that we will react automatically to triggering events. Counting to ten, taking deep breaths, or even stepping away for a few minutes can make a big difference in how we handle a challenging situation.
Benefits of applying the 90/10 principle
Adopting this principle in our daily life can bring a series of expected benefits, both on a personal and professional level:
- Stress reduction: By learning to manage our reactions, emotional tension in the face of unexpected events is reduced.
- Improvements in relationships: By avoiding impulsive responses, we promote a more harmonious environment with the people around us.
- Greater resilience: The ability to adapt and respond positively to challenges strengthens us emotionally.
- Greater control over our lives: Recognizing our responsibility in 90% of our experiences empowers us to make more conscious decisions.
Tips for implementing the 90/10 principle
If you are thinking about applying this principle in your life, here are some helpful tips:
- Reflect: After a difficult day, review how you reacted and whether you could have acted differently.
- Identify patterns: Pay attention to situations that tend to trigger negative reactions and look for ways to handle them better.
- Practice empathy: Trying to understand others' intentions can reduce the emotional impact of their actions on you.
If you are interested in exploring how humanistic psychology can complement the 90/10 principle, here is a resource that might interest you:
As we integrate this principle into our daily behaviors, we find that not only our personal well-being improves, but also our ability to positively influence our environment. This transformation, while not always easy, can mark the beginning of a more balanced and fulfilling life.
