We all know what infidelity is. We usually associate it with that deception where there is always a physical betrayal, where our partner lies to us by having a relationship with another person in secret. But there is another type of infidelity that is more subtle and difficult to perceive, in which a special connection is established with someone. An emotional connection where there is no physical contact or friction. There are those who do not consider it as a betrayal as such, but reality tells us that it can be an event as painful or more painful than physical infidelity.
That friend from work with whom we share secrets, the one with whom we write frequent messages or with whom we even show innocent flirtations... We do not cheat on our partners physically, however, it is still an infidelity in which we have established a series of emotions and feelings that, possibly, we do not show with our partner. They are deep connections where kisses or pillow moments are not necessary to develop a type of parallel relationship. Is it a friendship Or is it something more? Below we explain a series of dimensions that will help us understand this complex topic a little better.
What is emotional infidelity?
According to a study conducted by the University of Chicago and the Huffington Post, most men and women consider that emotional infidelity is also a way of cheat on partnerHowever, and here comes the real paradox, one does not always perceive it as such when one is involved. This dichotomy has its roots in the way we judge our own and others' actions: "I have not physically betrayed my partner, therefore, there is no infidelity. But perhaps he, although he did not carry it out physically, did want it."
Generally speaking, emotional infidelity can be described as a situation where one person in a relationship develops a significant emotional connection with someone other than their partner, in a way that crosses established boundaries within the relationship. This type of bonding can include sharing secrets, seeking emotional comfort, or even flirting, without necessarily leading to a physical relationship.
Signs that indicate emotional infidelity
spot a emotional infidelity can be complicated, as it operates in ambiguous territory. However, there are certain alarm signals that can help us identify this type of betrayal:
1. Need to hide details
The interaction with that third person begins innocently, but little by little the need to hide certain aspects. If you start hiding messages, calls or meetings, you are probably crossing the line between a genuine friendship and a more emotional relationship.
2. Diverted time and attention
Spending more time in contact with that person instead of your partner can be a sign. You may start looking for regrets to spend more time at work or even prefer to share details of your day with this person rather than with your partner.
3. Frequent comparisons
If you notice that you start to compare your partner with the other person, highlighting the virtues of the latter while you criticize or identify defects in your partner, you could be navigating the territory of emotional infidelity.
4. Emotional distance in the primary relationship
Emotional infidelity can lead to greater distance in the relationship, since the feelings and emotions that should nourish the relationship are now directed towards another person.
Causes that can lead to emotional infidelity
The reasons behind emotional infidelity are diverse and can vary depending on each person and situation. Some of the most common causes are:
- Monotony in the relationship: Long-term relationships can fall into a rut, leading to searching outside for what's missing inside.
- Communication problems: The inability to express feelings within the relationship may lead to seeking an outside confidant.
- Lack of emotional satisfaction: A partner who lacks emotional support may cause one partner to seek comfort from someone else.
- Impact of social networks: Platforms like WhatsApp or Instagram facilitate the creation of emotional bonds that can escalate quickly.
Impact on couple relationships
Emotional infidelity can have a devastating impact on a relationship. Even if there is no physical contact, emotional betrayal can lead to a breach of trust and generate constant conflicts. Many people consider this type of infidelity more painful than physical infidelity, since it involves sharing emotions and intimacies that should be exclusive to the couple.
How to address and prevent emotional infidelity
Preventing this type of betrayal requires constant work on the relationship. Here are some helpful tips:
- Open communication: Talking about expectations and boundaries in the relationship is key to preventing misunderstandings.
- Reviving the emotional connection: Make sure to spend quality time together, sharing interests and strengthening your bond.
- Review limits: Establishing what is and is not acceptable in interactions with third parties is critical for both parties.
- Professional support: Couples therapy can be a valuable tool to work through underlying issues and strengthen the relationship.
Emotional infidelity, even if it does not involve physical contact, can be just as damaging or even more damaging than traditional infidelity. Understanding its causes, recognizing the warning signs, and working on communication and strengthening the primary relationship are essential steps to overcome and avoid it.
If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to reflect on your relationship and determine if the emotional needs are being covered. Ultimately, an authentic and respectful emotional connection is the foundation of any strong and healthy relationship.